I Hate That I Love You
by Julayy
Summary: A story about Super Junior members Eunhyuk and Donghae. Enjoy :D


**Eunhyuk's Point Of View**

I was rushed to the hospital. Not because I was injured, but because Donghae called me. I heard him crying over the phone, telling me to please come quickly. So I got in my car and sped to the hospital. A cop stopped me, but once they saw I was teary-eyed and heard me stammering about a friend in the hospital, they knew it was an emergency and offered to escort me there. Of course, wanting to get there as quick as I can, I accepted their offer.

That's what I meant by being rushed to the hospital. Two cop cars were in front of my car with their sirens going off. Other cars moved out of the way so the cops and I could go through with speed. As I sped to the hospital in that car, I couldn't help but worry so much about Donghae. I wondered what happened to him and why he was there. I was definitely hoping that the situation wasn't as serious as I thought it was.

It didn't take too long before I reached the hospital, thanks to the person who invented speed…and the cop cars. Getting out of the car, I rushed into the hospital and made my way to the front desk. "What room is Lee Dong Hae in?" I asked with a lot of urgency in my voice. She directed me to his room and I entered immediately. "Donghae?" I called out quietly before I spotted him tucked in on one of the hospital beds. "Donghae…" I whispered to myself, not wanting to talk too loud since, for one, it was a hospital, and two, it looked like Donghae was sleeping. I walked near the bed and sat in the chair beside the bed, looking at Donghae.

"Eunhyuk…" Donghae murmured in a weak tone. I took his hand in mine and waited for him to say something else. "You're not going to ask what's wrong?" Then I regretted not saying anything. Donghae sounded so weak and looked so fragile at the moment. I really wanted to ask him what was wrong.

"I want you to rest right now," I said. "I don't want you to say another word, got it? We can talk later when you feel better." I watched him smile a bit, not saying anything else.

Donghae closed his eyes and seceded into a deep sleep. I sat and watched after him, just in case he needed something from me later on. My heart ached seeing him in such a state. It was by far the first time I've ever seen him so weak and breakable. Instead of the strong and lively guy I've seen every day, I saw a guy who couldn't even move an inch. It pained me so much to see him like that.

About two days passed before Donghae was discharged from the hospital. He seemed more alive than the first time I saw him in the hospital bed. I still didn't know what happened to him and why he was in the hospital though. I never asked him. I waited until he was ready to tell me.

To make sure Donghae would recover, I made sure he stayed home from work for a week. I stayed by his side the full week. We watched television, listened to music, played some games, talked, and so much more. Instead of working and being separated from each other because of the sub-groups, we had time to spend with each other and hanged out more.

"Eunhyuk…" Donghae said one day while we were watching television together.

"Yeah?" I looked from the television to Donghae and waited for him to say something more. He has been doing that a few times. Every time he called my name, he would either say 'nevermind' or distract me or himself with something else to avoid saying something I knew he really wanted to say.

"Nothing…" Donghae said, smiling at me before bringing his attention back to the television.

I looked at him and frowned. "You know you can tell me anything right, Donghae?" I asked him.

"Yeah, I know," he simply said.

"Then why don't you tell me?" I asked again, turning off the television to eliminate any sort of distraction.

"Tell you what?" he asked. He tried to reach for the remote but I kept it away from him.

"I know you want to tell me something," I stated. "But you keep stalling on it."

Donghae frowned and looked away from me, obviously not wanting to say anything anymore. What I didn't know was the fact he was looking away to hide his beautiful, but teary eyes from me.

I sighed and shook my head to myself. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," I told him. "I'm sorry for pressuring you." I still felt sorry even though I didn't really pressure him much.

"The doctor said I only have a few more months to live…" Donghae mumbled quietly.

My eyes widened when he said that. I felt my heart beating quickly in its place. "W-Why?" I asked.

"He said he wasn't sure…It's some kind of new disease or something and there's no cure for it," Donghae replied. "It starts out with stomach aches, headaches, back pains, blurry vision…"

My eyes searched for Donghae's face, but it was his back that I found. I reached my arms out and hugged him from behind, wrapping my arms around his waist. I laced my fingers together as they connected at his stomach, laying my head down on his shoulder. "It's okay, Donghae…" I said. "I will stay by your side until the day they find the cure. I'm sure you will live on…"

Donghae turned his head around and I saw him smile slightly even though both our eyes locked together with tears. "Thank you, Hyukkie," he said lightly, voice soft.

"We'll travel around the world to find a cure if we have to," I stated, smiling a little bit. That made him chuckle. I was a little glad he could at least smile and laugh. It told me that he was happy with me. "I promise I won't leave your side, ever."

"Ever?" Donghae laughed. "What if I'm showering or using the bathroom?"

I blinked and laughed also. "I guess I'll make some exceptions," I said.

We both ended up chatting about random things, avoiding the depressing subject of Donghae's short life-span. Though as we talked, I couldn't help but worry a great deal about him. I tried not to show my worry because I didn't want him to worry about me worrying too much about him.

We fell asleep on the couch last night. I had my arms wrapped around him when I woke up. I smiled to myself as I watched him sleep. I brushed a hair out of his face and remained still so I wouldn't wake him up.

Looking at the time, I realized that it was almost time for me to go to work. I reached for my phone in my pocket so I could call and get a few days off so I could spend time with Donghae and take care of him more seeing as he wasn't getting better. As I was about to dial the number, my phone was snatched away from me. I looked over and saw Donghae with a frown on his face.

"What are you doing?" Donghae asked. He looked a bit upset.

"I was just going to cancel my interview for today," I replied.

That seemed to upset Donghae even more. "You shouldn't do that, Hyukkie," he said with his weak voice. "You can't just not go to work…"

"I want to stay here with you though," I stated. "I told you I would, didn't I?"

"But you might lose your job that way," Donghae murmured. "Just go, okay? Don't worry about me. I'll do fine on my own. And if anything happens, I'll call you." He gave me a small smile and I knew I had to give up.

"Alright…I'll go…" I said, sighing. "Can I at least get my phone back though, please?" Donghae gave me my phone back and I ruffled his hair gently, kissing his cheek. "Don't tire yourself, okay?" He nodded and I left his side to go get ready.

**Donghae's Point of View**

Right after Eunhyuk left, I lay on the couch and slept for a few more hours before waking up. I wasn't feeling so well. There was a pain in my stomach and I felt really, really tired. I didn't know if it was because I skipped breakfast and slept too much or if it was that disease I have, so I made my way out of the house after changing and toward the hospital I was at before. When I got there and got checked out by the doctor, my heart couldn't stop beating fast. I was afraid of the results. I already knew I didn't have too long to live and I didn't want to hear it again.

But the news I received was way different from what I thought would be my results. It was far off from what the doctor told me last time. "What do you mean I'll be fine?" I asked with uncertainty. Was he kidding me? "Last time you said I didn't have much time to live…"

"Oh…That was just a false alarm," the doctor replied. "My nurse accidentally gave me the wrong documents. It was for another patient, not you. I apologize on my nurse's behalf."

I looked at him with a slightly angered expression lingering on my face before thanking him and taking my leave. I didn't know how to react to that. Should I be upset or happy? I was happy because I was going to live. I was upset because Eunhyuk probably wouldn't care about me anymore if I tell him that I will live. I didn't know what to do…

**Eunhyuk's Point Of View**

I made my way back to the house right after my job ended so I could check up on Donghae. When I got home, I saw him watching TV, sitting on the couch with his knees pulled to his chest. It was cute. Or at least I thought it was.

Donghae turned around and gave me a small smile before bringing his attention back to the television. I took that small smile as a tired smile and sat beside him on the couch. "How are you feeling?" I asked him. "Did you eat yet? And did you get enough rest?"

"Good," Donghae replied. "And yes." That was all he said.

I frowned and didn't say anything else. I didn't know how much he was suffering, but my heart ached seeing him like this. He was no longer the Donghae I knew before. It was like his spirit and soul had left his body behind in a matter of weeks.

I spent the next few weeks taking care of him and having small conversations, taking over his job when I could and had to. I'd watch him sleep and go out to buy food for him. Other than that, there wasn't much happiness going on between us. They were strange weeks.

**Donghae's Point of View**

I felt really guilty for not telling Eunhyuk the good news about my life and acting so weirdly around him. I planned on telling him that day. I was just afraid of what he would say and how he would react though. I was afraid of losing him. He might not want to talk to me anymore, take care of me like he did while I'm sick.

I looked over at Eunhyuk as he heated up some soup for me in the kitchen. He looked upset, worried, and tired. Of course he would be tired. He didn't have enough time to rest because he had to take care of me. No matter how much I tell him that I don't need help, he ignores me and goes on with helping me. He doesn't care about his own health now that he had to worry about my health.

"Soup is ready!" Eunhyuk called out from the kitchen, placing the bowl of soup on the table. "Come get it before it gets cold."

I made my way over and sat down at the table. "Eunhyuk, I have something to tell you," I said.

"What is it?" he asked, seeming a bit surprised.

"You should sit down first…" I told him.

Eunhyuk looked at me weirdly before he sat down and stayed silent. It looked like he was waiting for me to say what I had to say before he says anything.

I looked him in the eyes and opened my mouth to say something, but my voice didn't seem to want to come out. I cleared my throat and tried again. This time, words really did come out. "I actually will be able to live."

Eunhyuk looked at me with widened eyes. It seemed as if he didn't know how to react, like the first time the doctor told me the news. Then he looked a bit mad. That facial expression kept my heart frozen in its place. I held my breath and waited for him to say something.

"So this whole time, you've been fooling me/?" Eunhyuk asked with a raised voice.

My eyes widened and I looked at him with a shocked expression. "How can you think that?!" I exclaimed. "Why would I ever do such a thing to you? Do you think I'm that bad of a person?!" tears formed in my eyes at that.

"Then why did you tell me you only had a few months to live in the first place?" I could see the tears forming in his eyes through my blurry pair. Eunhyuk being one of the sensitive ones in the group, that was expected. But this was my entire fault and I felt really bad.

"I only told you that because that is what the doctor told me before…" I replied. "I could have kept it to myself, but I…I was selfish and wanted you to take care of me. Because you've never taken care of me like that before."

A look of sadness was very visible on Eunhyuk's face. "You could have just told me you wanted me to take care of you," he stated. "You know how much it hurts me to see you in such a state? And the thought of losing you to death didn't help my heart heal much either!"

Those words caused my heart to melt and I made my way over to him. I wrapped my arms around him and embraced him. "I'm so sorry, Eunhyuk," I apologized. "I should have told you the day the doctor told me I was going to live. But I was afraid to lose you. I thought you'd leave me after and not take care of me anymore. I'm sorry. I love you so much that I was being selfish!" by then, I was weeping.

"I would never be able to leave you even if my life depended on it…" Eunhyuk engulfed me in his warmth as we sat there in each other's arms. "I hate that I love you, Donghae…" he simply whispered.


End file.
